Reigate Hill to Otford: 2 days on the North Downs Way: run, heat and little voice

Day 1

It's 10 am, on Wray Lane parking lot on Reigate Hill. The sun is shinning and temperatures are high.
We are getting ready to do 20 miles on the North Downs way to Otford.
I'm quite excited, I never ran in the heat before. The highest temperature was 23 when we were in Madeira. Mick decides to take a large coffee before heading down  towards Merstham....I don't think it's wise...it is quite warm already and  raising my inside body temperature might not be a good idea...but I take a sip anyway....he said caffeine boost the system...hum....I can feel the warmth and sweat building, but before it gets me thinking, we have started our descent in Gatton Park,it's nice and cool under the trees.

 We reach Merstham and are heading towards Caterham viewpoint. We briefly stop in Ste Catharine churchyard where we wet our caps under a tap. Best idea Mick had so far! it is so nice to cool your head down, never thought it would have such an effect! .... we have only done 2 miles but it feels so much more. Legs are heavy, body temperature high but mindset is ok. We carry on, it's nice to talk, take pictures and chat with walkers and cyclists along the way.

 

Tower of Tower Farm

After thinking we got lost and backtracked near Tower farm, we finally arrived at the view point.
It is a nice view we get of the south downs and England countryside, temperatures are much higher. I think I'm enjoying myself, but I am not too sure,trying to keep cool and carry on is not as easy as it sound.

We are so engrossed with the scenery, we miss a turn and end up doing a detour on a road....not cool. Watch out, the NDW is right inside the view point, don't go down the road. By the time we realise it, it is too late to go back up...so hoping to join back the trail we begin a long descent on the road. Quads are working hard and I can hear a whisper. I take more sips of electrolytes,  it distracts my brain from cramping and boredom as well as shutting down the whisper. I need to remember that... Let's play with the roots, avoid the gravel. Another whisper, caffeine effect ran out 3 roads ago and I don't really know what to do with myself...it is such a weird feeling. Whisper becomes a voice asking me to stop, telling me that I hate the road and this is not a nice trail to run on...I need a distraction fast...let's keep up with Mick... he makes it looks so easy.

Where is the shade? Let's play looking for the shade. Running is my gateway to nice places and where I can feel blissfulness. Right now thou we are on this looong stretch of road with no shade and all I am feeling is the sweat all over me and the urge to cool down. 
We join back the north down way and head up towards Tarbridge hill before arriving at Oxted Down. There is a nice descent with bumps just before Oxted view point. Mick says we should take a rest.I don't think he has a clue of what's been going on in my head. I don't say anything about it, it's watermelon break! It tastes and feel soo nice!  It was worth carrying the weight!!! We've done 11 miles. Thanks to watermelon, whispers are gone! We carry on towards Tilsey Hill, looking down you can see there is no escape from the sun, but watermelon effect is still on! and we soon arrive to this nice shady long hill where I decide to get some food down. Watermelon is great for water but not energy, I'm not hungry thou, it's a struggle...Are you hungry when you heat run?

Still smiling

Mick is laughing and comments on the fact that I am from a tropical island but I'm struggling from a tiny bit of heat...It gets me thinking: he's right, I'm struggling, so I decide to debate if it is in your blood to be temperature adaptable  in which case I suck or if you should be training to be heat adaptable? in which case, I'm screwed! Things you take for granted!
We arrived near Knocknolt, but we do another wrong turn. Whispers are back...Where is Otford? We run down and go back up. Whispers are shut down when there is enough visual distraction and ascent but come back when it's flat...and when out of water. 2 1/2 litres are not enough.I don't want to take it on to Mick, we have been running for 5 hours now and it is not his fault for getting the path wrong 3 times already. It will be better on our way back, right...We are so thirsty! I wonder how on earth people manage to run so fast and far under this scorching sun !  Mick tries to distract me and talks about James and the Spartalon and the ability to run in extremely hot temperatures??  So thirsty...we find a house with a kind gentleman who refills our bladders. I love the countryside for this feeling of community and entraide. We have been running for more than 20 miles...the guide got it wrong, right? It doesn't matter thou, we have water for another 20 miles under this sun...how far off can we be?

The wrong descent

We reach a main road, its quite dangerous to cross as there is no pedestrian path...I wonder how runners cross during the NDW 100. We have reached another field after many roads crossing.  Its a lavender one! It is beautiful and smells so good. I'm back in my happy place. I can feel the end of our  journey, and without expecting it, we are in Otford! I'm grateful, the sun is down and the temperature feels nicer. Or is that a mind trick? We just done 28 miles...we were not prepared for it, but then I wonder if we would have done it if I knew it...thank you watermelon and lavender field, you made the day!

Lavender fields near Otford

Day 2 should have been the same type of manageable struggle, but for some reason, it didn't happen this way, I couldn't find my happy place, my body was fine but my mind couldn't cope with the fact that I was having a hard time handling the heat.  We start the run and realise that maybe it has something to do with my ego and the fact that I like to think I'm a "strong" person and can cope with anything that life throws at me.

Otford Pound

But this heated run seemed to get the better of me. It's only 20 miles for pit sake! I need to get a grip. We are on the bottom of our first hill, this should help me get to my happy place....it's too late,  the whispers are now a voice screaming to STOP. I ignore it, put it on the side of my mind. But I'm getting distracted, the voice is now an action! It starts with the top, it's giving me a skin rash, so we slow down for me to be able to change top. We are on the top of the hill, it's a flat session, I know what is coming, the road is like the back of my hand since we done it yesterday. I now know every turn, flat, trail and road sections of it and what's coming up it's not looking good, darn visual memory! I have shut down, my mood is grumpy, poor Mick, he knows I need some time alone.

He goes further up the road, giving me the space I need but I'm thinking it's not a good idea, something up with my breathing. what's going on?! I'm breathing but feel that I am not. I look up for Mick,I'm zombie running and Mick is disappearing further and further. Is this a heat stroke? Little voice says no just messing with me!... Mick comes back, he says that I maybe I should stop, that maybe it's too much, maybe I need to eat. I'm not hungry but craving for watermelon, wishing to have kept some. I want to carry on, it's not too much, I know what's coming up with the trail, this is where I need to be, not on a side of the road waiting for rescue, this is not a race, this is a gateway. I need to be winning against this little voice who feeds on disappointment and bitterness. Mick carries on, I feel for him, I too would not want to be with myself right now. We are 15 miles in. I decide to think about this blog, this post and why I am doing this run. I want people to know about this trail and wanting to try it. It's a nice trail, mixture of everything from road to fields to woods. Come on, there is a hill just after this turn, a wood and Tilsey hill descent  Living in the moment is not actionable right now, so I'm looking to the future trail, visualising it, embracing it.Voice is back to a whisper. We meet Ultra Stu in Oxted down! how cool is that! he talks about his next race and all and it's nice. There, whisper is gone, breathing is back. We eat an orange at the same bench we were a day ago and without noticing it we are back to Tower Farm. I hear voices, cyclists at a pub, just by the road. NICE! we decided to stop for a coke and refill the water bladder. We note that we need to organise these runs with refill point. Coke feels nice and cools down the core. I'm ready to tackle the next flat section near the posh houses, I know we are not far from Mertsham, just another field and we are back in Ste Catharine Church yard and the water tap. We wet our caps and ourselves. Another note, we should have done that before leaving the B&B...we are at the Wray Lane Parking lot, I'm  happy to see the car safe and I know a nice protein cake and fresh drink is waiting for us. Now this is what I call a gateway ;)


PS:  if you want to know more about the route, check the Running Routes Pages for details

Facing the unknown: 80 Km Mont Blanc Report

It’s over, after 17h42 minutes of pure euphoria, I have to say goodbye to everything that has made my day/night one of the best of my life.

I’m in peace, I have faced the unknown, I ran until it became a familiarity. I found my mind in an euphoric state throughout the race and my body followed. How can it be?

I started with butterflies in my stomach, scarred, tensed. I looked around, everyone looked like professionals, ready to tackle these miles and everything that is coming with them. We are in Chamonix Town Centre, facing the church, it's 4 am.

Chamonix Church

I kissed Michael for one last time, we won't see each other until the end. I put my head down, and there we go, up towards the Brevent. The path is lighted by the headlamps of everyone around. We are out of the forest, onto a rock trail “en file indienne”, breathing hard, and afraid to look up to the never ending ascent. Where are you Brevent?

Here comes a snow trail, ice crushing beneath our feet, each breath contained by what's surrounding us. First check point, we are at Le Brevent ( 2462m) and La Flegere is impatiently awaiting for us down below.  

Ice trail again, before heading down the rocky trail of Plampraz, I’m not moving, I’m holding back, I don’t want to do this anymore. Not because I can’t, not because I feel bad or hurt, just because I suddenly have an urge to fail, a need to prove to myself that I am not worth this trail.

Second Check point, La Flegere, so not into it, I don’t realise I haven’t checked in. I decide to walk, and have a talk with myself. Gosh! Who knew I was going to be such a brat? I look around, people are passing me, a lady moans about people using sticks. I’m now going up towards Tete au Vent. I’m kicking myself, this is silly, I should be running. I’m looking at my watch, it’s all blurry, numbers are not registering. So I keep on walking, taking pictures.

Some cool rocky stairs are in front, some more snow. I am on my butt, sliding fast, no care in the world to look pretty silly as I am passing some people struggling to go down on this snowy part. Someone laugh at me, make a comment in French and there it is: my wakeup call. I’m here. I am now feeling the ground, breathing the air. From an unfamiliar voice I become ME. I decide to follow the voice, it belongs to a Frenchman who talked for the whole descent towards Vallorcine. I don’t talk much, I listen, but wonder how he can talk so much!

Going Up to Col du Passet

First CheckPoint to Vallorcine, I check my watch. Crap! I’m late. I should have been at Col du Passet for 9:30ish. My dear mother-in law is waiting for me. I’m so not even close. I decide to run. I pass by Ninon, a cool lady from Lorraine. We talk until we are almost out of breath going up towards the Col.

Vue from the Col du Passet

 I’m moving as fast as I can but I can’t help to take pictures! The trail is mine, I am the trail. I hear my mother in law voice, I am suddenly on the top of the Col. I apologise, I should have been there sooner, she doesn’t mind and tell me to just carry on and not to worry about it. After making the checkpoint people laugh and a nice cup of Redbush, I carry on to Loriaz (2020m) trying to catch up Ninon.


Arriving at Loriaz, I decided to sit and put a plaster on. I don’t have a blister, but I’m aware that my foot is getting hot on one side. Any excuse to stop and not carry on running after Ninon. I sit there for a while, looking around and talking to tourists passing by, I’m not fussed. The time is ticking but the longer I stay on the trail, the more time I have to enjoy everything. But all good things have an end so I get up and start the descent toward Vallorcine. I’m “flying” and without realising, I caught up with Ninon, so we run/walk/talk toward the checkpoint. It’s a nice flat trail by the river. I decide to stop at that checkpoint and fill myself up with food and drink. But I get ichy feets, I want to carry on and just stay with the trail, so there I am starting the ascent towards the Col des Possettes.
The trail is wonderful, it’s a small forest like, roots are everywhere on the path, I’m happily taking some more pictures, talk to the people around me.




I'm so relax that Ninon is now back at my side, and soon passes me. Waou! She is going up that ascent effortless. Me on the other end, I’m starting to get bored, as we are now on the ski slopes, with no visual stimulation, just ugly rocks, and nothing to let my mind play with. So I decide to not follow the "easy" ski slopes’ path but cut through it, more effort as it's super steep but so much better because I’m playing with my breathing and I no longer look at my watch. I arrive at the checkpoint at the top of the Col. They are saying, it’s going down now. I can’t wait! But Benoit, a guy from Luxembourg is moaning, and my great mood is back, so I decide to stick with him and cheer him up. It’s so much more fun sharing the love of the trail with someone and making sure that they are feeling as good as they can be. We talk/run so nicely that soon enough we arrive at Le Tour, a check point and  we carry on towards Argentiere.

I’m having so much fun, but I lost Benoit so I decide to run after people and talk to them. They are smiling; they don’t understand how I can still be so “fresh”, I don’t know myself and decide not to ask myself why. I’m in the moment. Soon enough we are in Argentiere. It’s supposed to be only a light refreshment station, but there is everything! So I take a soup and a banana and carry on walking as La Trapette is waiting for me! From this part on, it’s a blur, I don’t remember anything beside cheering up Benoit once again and arriving at Les Bois. What happen during these 2 hours are still a mystery, no recollection, not even a picture to say I was there! I must have thou, I’m at Les Bois. I don’t know what happen to Benoit,once again. We keep loosing each other. I look behind, what happen?! I chat with a volunteer who kindly fill my water, I take some chocolate, another banana and with faith, start my ascent towards Le Montenvers.

 At this stage, there is no one around, it’s just me and the trail. I reach what I thought was Montenvers but is in fact Les Mottets with its kind people offering tea with energy drink. I laugh with them a bit, and decide to carry on faster, my mother in law is awaiting for me at Montenvers. I meet a girl from Birmingham, she is “defaite” so I cheer her up as much as I can. I feel bad to feel good when I look at the majority of the runners I pass. Why do I feel so good! Surely I shouldn’t be, what am I doing wrong?! I catch up another Frenchman, among the rocks and the ladders,we have been passing each other for a while now. We talk a bit until Montenvers, I see my mother in law, she waited even thou I told her not too, I’m grateful for her kindness. She said it’s not too far from the end, the people at the checkpoint/aid station say “that is the last ascent, it’s all going down to Chamonix now!” I’m quite happy to go down, so I carry on walking without taking anything, looking forward to the descent to Chamonix. I’m almost there, I can feel the victory to have faced the unknown. But it’s not going down, it’s actually going up to some “Alpage” that no one at this stage of the race gives a toss.

My euphoria has left me, I’m now conscious that the end is not where this guy told me it was, why did I listen?! How can his words have such an impact on my wellbeing ,on how I feel about the trail. I’m getting frustrated so I start running uphill, I catch up with moaning runners, we all saying the same things. I’m thinking about the guy at the aid station, I wonder if he knows that everyone want to turn back and strangle him. We finally arrived at L’Alpage de Blatiere, we just gained another 300m of ascent,... so much for the downhill. The guys at the checkpoint promise us that it is now all downhill.

Thanking them, I can now picture this nice descent to Chamonix back to Michael’s arms!!!
But this is shattered by an ankle drama! Who would have know that literally 5 min later, left ankle decides that it has enough and twists itself ( I probably didn’t help it by trying to run down like a chamoix!).
My nice picture is shattered, my dream of finishing in 17h 00 is falling to pieces. I’m not fussed about the time anymore, but the timing of this drama. It’s the same ankle I twisted in Madeira, but the other side out. A friend will comment later on that it happened to balance it out...right now thou, I am so angry at the rock and the ankle that I can’t digest the fact it happened 5 km before the finish line! But heh! There is no way I am not finishing ! I have been having too much fun for the last 16ish hour!!! I decide to drag that foot for this last downhill. Man! It hurts, tears of frustration and hurt are rolling down my cheeks, faster that I am going down that hill. All of the people I have passed are now passing by, asking if they should call the rescue. No way I say! I’m going down, I’m going to finish! It’s ONLY 5 more kilometres! Frank ( Thank you Frank!) gives me some painkillers, I gratefully take them. Gosh it hurts! Why can I only fly in my head!? I decided to “drag faster” by jumping rocks ( do not try, it’s useless and more painful) it’s not working. I need to distract myself. It’s time to play with the roots and rocks, time to focus on my footing and less on the inability to run. Here...a small downhill field, I am down on my butt, and decide to roll, it’s much faster but it does hurt the butt, Frenchmen are laughing, I join in, might as well enjoy that moment right? I don’t know if it is the effect of the pain killers or the call of the people down below but I find myself dragging less and moving faster. I pass a Frenchman walking, I cheer him up feeling his pain and knowing that just like me, he is not going to give up. I have found my new self again, I’m ecstatic and sad, it’s almost over, I don’t want it to be over, I’m having too much fun. Here comes a root I didn’t see, and it kindly reminds me that I have a twisted ankle and I shouldn’t be having fun. But I can now see the road, the people are cheering in all languages. And the unthinkable happens. I’m sprinting, sprinting to the finish line, the cheers are lifting me up, there is no more pain, the cheers are giving me a strength I never thought I had, I’m now racing, I’m thanking out loud everyone cheering around me. My God this is beautiful, they are clapping like I’m a superstar, it’s crazy and beautiful. I don’t want it to end, I want to keep on running, this is mad! Here comes the finish line, the medal, the bag and the beer. I’m smiling, I just had the best time of my life. I have ran 78km, climb 6044m of ascent, and met the most beautiful people in the world. Each of us have faced our own self and retained a knowledge that only a trail could have given us.

So what did I learn?

I have faced the unknown, I have met a new self each step of the way. I can clearly hear the call of the trail and I can’t help it, it has become a familiarity. I want to trail like I breathe. I want to meet myself again.

To face the unknown

Day -5 to the 80Km of the MontBlanc

What did I get myself into? A month ago, I was happily running down the North Downs Way catching some "hills" without a care in the world of the distance and elevation I was logging. I was just another free spirit having a bit of fun, insouciant of the challenge that I am about to face in 5 days time...

Insouciance on the trail

Was the decision of entering this epic race taken after long consideration? That depends on how long is a long consideration...

Was time taken to ponder? Again, that would depend on what I was supposed to pounder on and well, for how long.

Was I supposed to reflect first on how much experience I needed to start the race? The super physical attributes to finish it? Or instead on the different sets of emotion that a run gives to us all no matter the distance, elevation or terrain? Or something else?

Because, well... I didn't think of any of that. Mick (my husband) and I had just returned from Madeira Island (Ultra Trail) and were still hyped from the beauty of the trail and the whole racing experience.

Madeira  UltraTrail

Mick mentioned that it was a shame that we couldn't do the Mont Blanc race together because it would have been as beautiful as this one and that well, I could have done it, it’s just a BIG hike.

Mick had entered the race way back when it was first announced. Back then, I was still recovering from the traumatic experience of running a first marathon (Beauty and The Beast), hence there was NO way I would have considered doing double the distance and quadruple the elevation. Who would have thought that 1 marathon (Steyning Stinger) and 1 ultra (CTS Exmoor) later, I would wish I had entered too?

This wish should have been just that, a wish, one you make because you know deep down it is crazy and so it can never become reality and you will never have to face any consequences.

But this wish,...became reality. 30 places got freed up, and one was for me. And now, I am facing a reality that I could have only imagined in my wildest dream...actually I don’t even think I would have ever dreamt of it...                                

                                           

So 2 marathons non-stop, add 6000 m of ascent and you get an epic journey that many dream of.

Teaser Mont Blanc

I should be grateful; I should be training my legs off, doing cardio and all and be committed to this.I should be like Mick, studying the profile, the maps, doing hills repeats, getting upset when training don’t go to plan, right? Well, no ,I have been going with the motion of whatever Mick is doing during the weekend..a long run,a bit of core exercises and moaning that there are not many hills... and now, you think: Gosh, this one is crazy, what is she thinking?!

And well, you might be right; the decision to enter this race was made just from feeling an excitement of being on a trail with loads of ascent and barely any flat.

That’s it: no care in the world for the unknown of fatigue, hurt, up,lows of an ultra but just the ups and downs of a Mont.

So when I'll face the unknown, what will I try to do? Run for it until it becomes a familiarity as "the bane of the unknown is no whit less than the bane of freedom".